Minor Dictionary
of Humorous Quotations

Office | Opinions | Opportunity | Optimism and Optimists | Orgies |

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages the words 'boss' and 'botch' were largely synonyms, except that 'boss', in addition to meaning 'a supervisor of workers', also meant 'an ornamental stud'.

Adam and Eve: originator's of the loose-leaf system.

A good secretary is expected to look like a girl, think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a dog. Nan Hampton

An executive usually follows his work schedule to a tee. M.H. Beuchat

A new supply of round tuits has arrived and are available from Mary. Anyone who has been putting off work until they got a "round tuit" now has no excuse for further procrastination.

Ask your boss to reconsider - it's so difficult to take "go to hell" for an answer.

A survey shows that the nation's top executives spends 80 per cent of their time talking. Oddly enough, it is the same percentage that junior executives spend listening. Patricia Moody

Company secretary: "I cannot approve this expense account, Brown, but we'd like to buy the fiction rights to it."

Notice from the Boss to the firm's secretary: "There is a lot of bad spelling going on. If a word does not look right to you, kindly refer to your dictionery."

Overheard at retirement presentation: "And I shall always recall my service here as forty years of tedium relieved by tea breaks."

Personnel manager explaining regulations to the new secretary: "Or if you prefer you may elect to skip coffee breaks and retire three years earlier." C. Neville

Seen on the office notice board: "Any young executive having no secretary of his own is permitted to take advantage of the girls in the typing pool."

Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art. Charles McCabe

The trouble with opportunity is that it always look bigger going than coming. Bremer

An optimist is a man who does a crossword puzzle in ink.

An optimist is a man who hasn't had much experience. Don Marquis

Lunatic asylum: The place where optimism most flourishes.

Home is heaven and orgies are vile,
But need an orgy once in a while.
Ogden Nash