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Preface

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Minor Dictionary of Humorous Quotations

compiled by VPh

To Svetlana, with love - VPh

Dictionaries are like watches:
The worst is better than none,
and the best cannot be expected to go quite true.

Samuel Johnson

PREFACE

The following is a compilation of short jokes and witty lines and quotations, which I have been collecting for over ten years. So far it has been a short book; naturally, I wouldn't like its Preface run on a larger scale than the text it precedes. The first, and most important, thing that is to be said here is: this is a very personal book. It is a vastly, completely, totally, ruthlessly personal collection.

When I began my toil, I had no intention of making a book out of scratchy notes obtained sometimes in a most unusual form, and sometimes just overheard in a conversation. For example, a greater part of quotations dealing with Computers and Programmers came to me in the form of computer files, thus lacking the degree of being attributed to their sources with that certainty, which is required in a less or more professionally compiled dictionary. However, it is my strong belief that though in such a way they lost their makers, they have acquired what I would call "the undertaste of folklore". It is hard to say whether it is better for a good phrase to be attributed to a certain celebrity, whose name is remembered with a varying degree of difficulty, or stay anonymous and make it no great problem to employ the witty saying in a conversation without being afraid to make an ignoramus out of yourself. Notwithstanding the above, I tried as much as I could to retain the form of quotations and the names of their authors in the way and manner they had been communicated to me. You will, no doubt, note that when reading through Laws, which may contain the second and fourth Laws, but lack the third. Besides, sometimes the names of the persons cited as authors seem rather doubtful and in a few cases, perfectly wrong. I hope they would have no grudge against me.

As I have already said, my choice is absolutely personal. I would not and will not explain it for each particular entry, though I can give some general considerations that may clear up my approach. First, I believe that a joke with no word-play in it can in no way rival a phrase that has one. Second, I prefer to deal with universal truths about Life, Science and things like that. Third, I just include an entry, when I think it is worth being included.

Well, that's about all, dear Reader. Please, remember that while compiling the Dictionary I was much amused by the thought of how you would enjoy reading it.

Vadim Philippov

about my self back 2 manuscripts bedside table humor as it is here we sing
i love work
i'll get mail